Aggregate \Ag"gre*gate\, a. [L. aggregatus, p. p.]

Formed by a collection of particulars into a whole mass or sum; collective. To bring together. Syn: To heap up; accumulate; pile; collect.


Tuesday, September 28, 2010

8 Minutes

Saturday morning. The imminent trip to the Pumpkin Patch looms in the near future.

8:00am: Kids have been up for an hour (inherently I have been as well!)

8:30am: Dogs have been fed, watered and relieved.

8:50am: Kids have been fed, watered, dressed and mostly brushed.

8:55am: I duck away to Twitter quickly about the name, location and other pertinent info regarding the day trip we have planned.

9:00am: The ladies we will be carpooling with arrive on our doorstep with wonderfully appreciated punctuality.

9:01am: I can hear my husband offering coffee to our guests as he returns inside from puttering somewhere outside.

9:02am: Michael exclaims, "what is that smell?".  I logout and head downstairs.

9:03am: I round the corner into the hallway to discover on my right; my son stripped naked in the washroom, and on my left; that Velma has shat all over the living room rug. Two things are apparent:
1. Clothing hinders ones progress on the pot and 2. Velma still is not feeling well.

Eight minutes. It took a grand total of eight minutes for the household to self-destruct. I hear myself saying, "Remember 10 minutes ago when we were all ready to go?!" I get the sinking feeling our ride-mates are regretting their timeliness.

The wonderful thing about beginning your day on a low note is that there is no where to go but up!


  1. hahahaha!! I love this! True it can only go up from there! I used to babysit a little boy who stripped to go the bathroom. He didn't want his clothes to get dirty from the bathroom germs so he would leave them in a pile outside. He had a valid point ; )

  2. That is Jack's theory too, well he doesn't want to get HIS poop on HIS clothes! The irony of dropping them onto the floor in a public washroom is obviously lost on him :S

  3. Oh man. I did the 'hand over the mouth because I'm laughing but I also feel really bad for you' laugh. And kudos on your use of the word 'shat.' It's one of my faves.

  4. My heart is with you. I can feel your pain. Those mornings are so tough but you are absolutely right you can only go up. {{hugs}}

  5. Mornings like this are shitty indeed (no pun intended). Hope the rest of the day went smoothly!!


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